While the entire world has been focused on the academic achievement of a child, their self-regulation of emotions has been largely ignored. Self-regulation of emotions is a large component of emotional intelligence for a child. Before we understand how to raise an emotionally intelligent child its important to note that there are studies suggest with practice children improve and strengthen their emotional intelligence by self. They also learn to express their feelings with actions and words, for example by age of four, they close their eyes when scared or cover ears when they hear loud music. But they also need to know how to shift gears to find a constructive solution for their problems which takes practice and modelling on our part as a parent. Hence making it imperative to understand them, their needs to be able to raise an emotionally intelligent child.
What is emotional intelligence for a child?
In simple words, it’s about being smart about one’s own emotions.
- knowing and accepting of own emotions
- Sensitivity to the cues of the other kids around
- Empathy towards others (which means their ability to see and/or feel from other’s point of view
- Their ability to regulate their own anxiety or anger and talk about it.
So, if you learn how to raise an emotionally intelligent child, the result is a more insightful child. A child with the ability to manage their own emotions and behaviour, relationships with other people, for lifelong. You may like to read: The role of nutrition in your child’s emotional development in India
Strengthen their Emotional Quotient First!
1, Give them time, Acknowledge their perspective
During the time when your child is upset, he might need your undivided attention. Listen to them, understand and acknowledge their perspective and empathise with them. Empathizing doesn’t mean that you agree with them. It’s just a way to show them that you understand their perspective. And though they might have to do what you say, knowing that somebody understands your position always help, isn’t it?
2. talk to them to allow them to express
Young kids can’t differentiate between their emotions. Accept your child’s emotions, talk to them and rather denying, allow them to express themselves. Disapproving their fear or anger won’t stop them from having those feelings, but it may well force it to repress them. Unfortunately, such repressed feelings don’t fade away on their own.
Also, teach them that a full range of feelings is understandable and it is a part of being human. That’s one important basic way to raise the emotional intelligence of your child.
3. Listen to your child’s feelings.
Remember, strong emotions like rage don’t begin to dissipate until it is heard. Whether the child is 6 months or sixteen, he needs you to listen to the emotional feelings. Sit closer, listen to them, HUG them, play with them and make them feel safe. Stay calm and focused while listening, breathe through it, leave your phone aside and give them undivided attention. Like you and me a child too, has instincts to knows how if they are heard.
In fact, you will be amazed to see how affectionate and cooperative they might be once they get a chance to show you how they feel.
4. praise them when they learn
Sometimes, kids can settle down themselves, sometimes they need your help to think. But never resist the urge to rush in and help, instead wait for them to ask you. When you feel the child is understanding to feel, tolerate and grip their emotions, praise their reaction. Most times when kids feel their emotions are understood and accepted, those feelings lose their charge and soon begin to dissipate. Understand that it’s not easy for a child to help themselves. While saying sorry might feel relevant to you, appreciating the fact they said sorry is important.
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5. it’s okay to apologise to your child
While apologising to same or older age group seems appropriate, apologising to a child is equally important. Kids repeat what they learn. When they notice you reacting a situation a particular way, its high chance they do the same. Hope these suggestions help you know better on how to raise an emotionally intelligent child, share your comments, feedback