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How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

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While the entire world has been focused on the academic achievement of a child, their self-regulation of emotions has been largely ignored. Self-regulation of emotions is a large component of emotional intelligence for a child. Before we understand how to raise an emotionally intelligent child its important to note that there are studies suggest with practice children improve and strengthen their emotional intelligence by self. They also learn to express their feelings with actions and words, for example by age of four, they close their eyes when scared or cover ears when they hear loud music. But they also need to know how to shift gears to find a constructive solution for their problems which takes practice and modelling on our part as a parent. Hence making it imperative to understand them, their needs to be able to raise an emotionally intelligent child.  

What is emotional intelligence for a child?

In simple words, it’s about being smart about one’s own emotions. 

  • knowing and accepting of own emotions
  • Sensitivity to the cues of  the other kids around
  • Empathy towards others (which means their ability to see and/or feel from other’s point of view
  • Their ability to regulate their own anxiety or anger and talk about it.

So, if you learn how to raise an emotionally intelligent child, the result is a more insightful child. A child with the ability to manage their own emotions and behaviour, relationships with other people, for lifelong.   You may like to read: The role of nutrition in your child’s emotional development in India

Strengthen their Emotional Quotient First!

So you want to know hoe raise an emotionally intelligent child and wondering where to begin? Start today with these five basic steps.

1, Give them time, Acknowledge their perspective 

During the time when your child is upset, he might need your undivided attention. Listen to them, understand and acknowledge their perspective and empathise with them. Empathizing doesn’t mean that you agree with them. It’s just a way to show them that you understand their perspective. And though they might have to do what you say, knowing that somebody understands your position always help, isn’t it?

 

2. talk to them to allow them to express

Young kids can’t differentiate between their emotions. Accept your child’s emotions, talk to them and rather denying, allow them to express themselves. Disapproving their fear or anger won’t stop them from having those feelings, but it may well force it to repress them. Unfortunately, such repressed feelings don’t fade away on their own. 

Also, teach them that a full range of feelings is understandable and it is a part of being human. That’s one important basic way to raise the emotional intelligence of your child.

Must Read: Importance of Right communication with your child

3. Listen to your child’s feelings.

Remember, strong emotions like rage don’t begin to dissipate until it is heard. Whether the child is 6 months or sixteen, he needs you to listen to the emotional feelings. Sit closer, listen to them, HUG them, play with them and make them feel safe. Stay calm and focused while listening, breathe through it, leave your phone aside and give them undivided attention. Like you and me a child too, has instincts to knows how if they are heard.

In fact, you will be amazed to see how affectionate and cooperative they might be once they get a chance to show you how they feel.

 

4. praise them when they learn

Sometimes, kids can settle down themselves, sometimes they need your help to think. But never resist the urge to rush in and help, instead wait for them to ask you. When you feel the child is understanding to feel, tolerate and grip their emotions, praise their reaction. Most times when kids feel their emotions are understood and accepted, those feelings lose their charge and soon begin to dissipate. Understand that it’s not easy for a child to help themselves.  While saying sorry might feel relevant to you, appreciating the fact they said sorry is important.

Must Read: THREE C’S OF PARENTING- A STRATEGIC CONCEPT 

5. it’s okay to apologise to your child

While apologising to same or older age group seems appropriate, apologising to a child is equally important. Kids repeat what they learn. When they notice you reacting a situation a particular way, its high chance they do the same.  Hope these suggestions help you know better on how to raise an emotionally intelligent child, share your comments, feedback

How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child
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56 thoughts on “How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

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  • momtasticworld

    Loved reading this, it is imperative that we pay attention to our kids mental well being along with their physical well being. I am saving this and going to share it with others too 🙂

    Reply
  • Emotional intelligence is so important whereas many parents don’t even realise it’s importance. They run after IQ only. Positive parenting is the way to raise emotionally intelligent kids

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  • Absolutely right dear! Studies prove that kids who express themselves are more emotionally stable. As a parent, we should respect our kid’s point of view too.

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  • TripleAmommy

    Totally agree with you there. Emotional intelligence is very important and unfortunate most parents parents still focus on the IQ of their children. You have shared some important tips. Thanks.

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  • Such a wonderful subject..we focus on intellectual but emotional is what we should focus on.Great tips there. Hope many read and follow them.

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  • It is important to raise emotionally balanced child . All your pointers are helpful. Now this is called positive parenting ..

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  • Raising an emotional intelligent child lays foundation for a longer run and liked the way you have explained each point in the detail in the post.

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  • This is my most favortie topic to talk or write, I have covered it widely on my blog as well. Emotional intelligence is like any other growing health parameters. It is necessary to understand kids emotional health and intelligence and boost it in the most aesthetical manner.

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  • judy morris

    Emotional quotient itself in India wouldn’t be known and understood by many parents. EQ is more important than IQ surely thanks for the practical tips.

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  • I agree with each of your pointers but most importantly, parents must ensure open communication lines with their children if they are to raise emotionally intelligent children.

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  • Jhilmil Bhansali

    In today’s time EQ is more important than IQ . Bookish Knowledge can be learned but EQ have to be developed over a time and it help to survive it any condtion .

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  • Loved this post! Children learn by watching us and if we practice mindfulness and maintain calm in the worst circumstance, our children will pick that from us. Keep writing, Varsha. I am your #FanForever

    Reply
  • Emotionally intelligent child will be able to face any challenges thrown to them and will have the capability to accept failures. Great pointers, being a good listener and spending quality time is must in this hectic life.

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  • Dr. Surbhi Prapanna

    Yes emotional intelligence is most important aspect of personality development and I m highly impressed with all the pointers you had suggested. Especially I liked the idea of apologize your kids when you make mistakes. Personally I do that often when I make any mistakes. Great post indeed dear.

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  • Only physical health isn’t enough, we need to concentrate on their emotional health too. Good pointers here to make sure that our kids are emotionally secure and strong.

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  • As parents we take great care about the physical health of our children. But it is equally important to raise them as emotionally and mentally healthy and strong kids. These are some practical tips on fostering healthy emotional development in our kids. Great post!

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  • Good one, Gunjan. Our kids need a healthy EQ to thrive. They need to be resilient and your points state fine steps to raise one .

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  • In today’s scenario it’s important to raise emotionally intelligent and balanced kids. I love the tips and pointers you shared

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  • Alpana Deo

    Emotional Intelligence as become today’s need and it cannot go unappreciated. Kids need high emotional intelligence for not only their growth but also for the people around them.

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  • I feel as a parent I am always there for both my kids. Not just physically but emotionally as well. Children look up to their parents for a lot of different reasons but the biggest reason for emotional support. I will continue to be there for them, never turning a blind eye to their emotional needs.

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  • I am a firm believer of treating children with the same respect, dignity and attention as we behave with adults. Saying sorry, or patiently hearing them out really makes them feel considered and indeed boosts up their morale.

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  • I have always considered emotional well-being first. Being heard and considered by an adult means a lot to kids.

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  • delhifundos2014

    One of the most important things we can do for our child is to help them to manage their emotions. But its not easy thing to do. But above points definitely going to help parents in raising an emotional intelligent child. Thanks for sharing these tips with us

    Reply
  • Monidipa

    I can’t agree more with your points. Children with higher levels of emotional intelligence perform better on standardized tests. They also tend to have higher grades. Better relationships. Emotional intelligence skills help kids manage conflict and develop deeper friendships.

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  • I have learned with time. These points are really important for a healthy child

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  • A good reminder for parents. Love the tips on raising an emotionally intelligent child. #MyFriendAlexa #TinaReads

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  • great tips! EQ is one of the harder things to learn, and it is great if you can start young. i believe we can change the world if we are all more considerate and function from a space of being more emotionally intelligent.

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  • practicalmumnupur

    very important tips. thanks for sharing!

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  • Great tips..my son has started emotional development and I am so cautious with how I deal with him.

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  • Loved reading this. I personally practice all the points that u have mentioned and make sure my child never feels left alone emotionally. We communicate openly and I ask questions to encourage them to speak out their feelings.

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  • Great tips! Contrary to the popular notion, we should give space to children so that they get freedom to express themselves. An emotionally intelligent child needs to be heard.

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  • Hi Gunjan, I’ve been through 2 posts on my laptop but was unable to comment as the comment box wasn’t visible. Then shared a tweet with a comment. Fortunately it worked on the phone but you may need to take a look at it. You have done a good job of encapsulating some very important information in this post. Nutrition does indeed play a huge role in a child’s emotional development!

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    • Hi Noor, Quite strange as others are able to leave a comment, it may be some issue while you checked the site. Thank you for coming back again

      Reply
  • Sweta

    Each and every point mentioned by u r so very apt.

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  • Neha Sharma

    These are some really helpful tips for raising an emotionally intelligent kid, Gunjan. It’s important that parents understand how they can help their child in strengthening their emotional quotient.

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  • Great pointers! We often neglect to listen to their feelings.

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  • It’s important to be emotionally mature and recognising this in children too is vital. Emotionally balanced children grow into balanced adults and in turn are part of a balanced society.

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  • it is an amazing post. It is really an important aspect of a child’s development.

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  • Blogaberry Foo

    Yes Emotional Intelligence is quite important especially because many in our generation have ego issues and no emotions whatsoever. Hope we raise a good generation!

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  • this is so important, very well said .. loved it

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  • Roma.shobhit.sinha@gmail.com

    Insightful post my friend. I try my best to incorporate the above in my parenting style

    Reply
  • Good you discussed about Emotional intelligence whereas many of the Parents still rely upon the intelligent Quotient for success. Remember in the struggle of life, EQ is equally important. Rather more than IQ.
    #lifemarblesRead

    Reply
  • These are some good points. most parents tend to ignore this in the long run.

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  • These are very relevant points while raising an emotionally intelligent child which we often ignore. Letting them express their feelings and showing them that we are listening do help them change.

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  • great tips, EQ is an important element that should be nourished in the early years

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  • Sitting here yelling at my kid to let me do my work I am thinking- can I do this more intentionally? Emotional intelligence us something I work on regularly but sometimes I slip badly.

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  • Far too many people raise kids with high IQ and low EQ. Good that you’ve put the spotlight on the empath side of things.

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  • Swarnali

    . Yes you are right that self-regulation of emotions is a large component of emotional intelligence for a child. Thanks for these tips for child’s emotional growth.

    Reply
  • Great tips. We all need to pay attention to emotional intelligence of our kids.

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  • I absolutely love this post, positive parenting journey starts with us, when the small changes starts bringing better results.

    Reply
  • Number 5 is crucial .Respecting your child is along way in giving them self respect. Great post Gunjan

    Reply

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