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Importance of a right communication with Child

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Parenting is not at all easy. The important, yet the most difficult part of parenting is communicating with your child effectively. All kids absorb everything, exactly the way you say or explain to them. So, communicating effectively is important as this goes a long way, helping them build their personality.

Our Struggles

As a parent, we always have so many things on our plate. And while we constantly try to juggle between everything, there might be times, we end up reacting to our child. With all certainty, it is also possible, that we may also speak out unintentional words. Unfortunately, a kid’s young brain isn’t developed to that level that they may be able to differentiate between the reality or unintentional words. 

right communication

But let’s not worry. We have all been through this, isn’t it?

I also met a lot of moms online where they shared their stories. And most of them had something similar to share. So, all gathered together- one thing is absolutely true and clear, that we have to really careful and monitor ourselves, our words and actions. What we speak to them or somebody else for that matter in front of them. Which is easier said than done. But with a little bit of effort and strong will, we can make a better of us and minimize the mishaps. So here I am listing a few things you should always try to refrain saying it to your child.

Three C's of Parenting, My Friend Alexa, Blogging


10 things to refrain from saying to your child.

  1. ‘You are such a bad boy/girl’

Never feed the kid with negative thoughts, it does kill his/her self-esteem. A child is innocent and believes in goodness. Always tell him/her to be good, happy, and positive. In fact, try to give a positive comment like “you are the best/cutest child in the world”. Chances are that they would try their best to not let you down again.


  1. ‘Why can’t you be like xyz?’

Never compare your kid with anyone, not even their siblings. It makes them jealous and chances are that they might feel left out. It may also drive the feeling of failure in your child and develop competition/dislike between siblings.

  1. A straight ‘NO’ as an answer

A straight ‘no’ may be too harsh for your little one. If a child hears ‘no’ all the time, they may rebel or lose confidence and faith. If you don’t approve of any of your child’s action, try giving options. For example, instead of saying “No shouting,” try saying “Talk softly, please.”

  1. ‘No, You can’t do this’

There will be times when children want to do something that you know that they won’t be able to do that. But saying such a statement may harm his self-confidence. Give him a chance as long as it doesn’t harm him.

When my son tries to lift a heavy chair, instead of ‘you can’t do it,’ I tell him that ‘try if you can do it, or I will help you,’ or  ‘This might hurt you, So let me do it for you.’ The best alternative, however, could be ‘Let’s do it together!’


  1. ‘You, don’t talk to me now’

Never ever ban the channel of communication, between you and your child. Never ask your kid to stop talking or arguing. Let them ask a question, share their opinion freely. Rather you, talk to them if you want them to stick to your point of advice. Telling them what they should do and why is important.

We should rather convince them with our words, tone, and expressions. Also, keep talking and listening till they buy your point. 


  1. ‘Girls/Boys never do such things’

A child is a child, obviously.. so let be him/her. Don’t try to create some gender-biased rules. Let him decide for himself, his or her choices or toys, colours or anything else. Don’t pull them or stop them from exploring things they may be curious to know or good at.


  1. ‘Please, leave me alone!’

You must know that YOU are everything to your child. Never say that you will leave him/her alone, or ever demand to be left alone. Also, avoid things that may hurt him to an extent that he or she feel not loved or not wanted.


  1. ‘Let your Daddy come and I will tell him…’

This is also a common mistake by us moms. It instils an anxiety and fear in your child, especially of the person who you’re going to tell about whatever just happened. This also shows you’re incapable of handling your child or the issue. So, don’t make it an everyday threat. There are things that your child may do unintentionally, or irresponsibly which you may want to tell your spouse. In that case, ask your child, “Do you want to tell dad, or should I explain it to him and give the reason?” Let the child take ownership of his/her mistakes and actions, but do so respectfully.

  1. ‘No one wants a Child like you’

A child is a reflection of the parents. If the child becomes problematic, it’s us who has directly indirectly taught him that, He or she has learnt everything from his/her parents, family, friends, and surroundings. So if you think your child isn’t behaving properly. Remember, he/she didn’t choose to be in the world that surrounds. You chose that world!

  1. ‘Hey! You are too big to do this!’

Don’t deprive your child of childhood. They will grow up, what’s the hurry? Instead, have fun and be like them. See if it makes them more comfortable and happy. 

So when my little one wants to jump on the bed just because he wants,  what do I do? I too start jumping, and then we slowly hug and stop jumping.  It is just awesome to see him happier!


As a parent, isn’t it, our responsibility to make our children happy, positive, secure, and confident to face the world.

What other things do you think as a parent we should never say to a child? Do share them in the comments below. 


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50 thoughts on “Importance of a right communication with Child

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  • These are some great tips that you have mentioned. Its important to communicate with your kids regularly.

  • momtasticworld

    I am guilty of using few of these but from now on I will try to keep these pointer in mind. Thank you for sharing these 🙂

  • I understand that I need to change a few of my habits and I’m not waiting till 2019 to start doing it!!!

  • I gotta admit i am guilty of some of these statements. Raising a kid is difficult and one definitely needs to conciously ensure you avoid any negative effects.

  • Amrita

    Positive parenting is much needed. This is a great way to spread the message. Works great for adults too.

  • communication is the fundamental of every relationship and with a child, it just builds everything. great post !

  • Honey Prisha Lalwani

    I’m really guilty of saying don’t talk to me right now Keep quiet or sometimes even a shut up. I have two kids and one keeps talking while the other is crying and it’s difficult to give them both attention. Ghosh I wish it was easier.

  • No doubt parents words have higher impact on kids mind especially in growing years. And right communication becomes a need

  • Oh i agree with everything u wrote as nowadays my daughter says why did u say mad when u said it’s bad words, so we have to be very careful when talking to them

  • Thanks for sharing this with me, I think we all need to take care what we say to our kids as it leaves a big impact on them

  • Nisha Malik

    Parenting is not easy because life is not easy. The time we conquer one problem another starts facing. Our kids too learn with us and that’s how they prepare themselves for life. Nice article.

  • The Child is the Father of the Man and this saying holds so much truth. How parents communicate with kids at a tender age is the foundation which stands in good stead in later years.

  • The Child is the father of the Man, this saying is so true.The right communication with the kids is essential for moulding their personalities

  • that’s a very informative post for all the parents. I will surely share this post to my sister who recently delivered baby.

  • That’s true as a parents its our duty to bring positiveness in our kid’s life

  • Communication is the key to effective understanding between parents and kids. It helps them in the long run as well, great post!

  • It is so important to start children good interpersonal skills from the very first.Saying an outright no often creates a negative atmosphere. Very interesting post.

  • bytetrails

    Parents have to be really cautious before saying anything untoward to the kid. My mantra: treat them the way you like to be treated.

  • Sometimes knowingly or unknowingly we as parents say many such things to our kids which we later regret. This is a very good post and must read by parents.

  • Communication is so vital and especially so with kids. Communication with kids should be started at a very young age itself as this builds a solid foundation for future years.

  • You have written the most helpful post.. It is very important to behave properly infront of kids. Comparison and make them feel down can bring bad impact in kid’s mind..

  • Sarah

    This post is an easy guide on parenting and how to deal with kids keeping in mind their mindsets and sensitivities. Every parent needs to read this.

  • Very well curated article. Most of us knowingly unknowingly tend to do one of these mistakes. Will watch my steps/words from now on. Thank you for this.

  • The points which is been mentioned above are so true. Many time i have seen my cousin saying “Let your Daddy come and I will tell him” and i always points her out not to say this. I will definitely share this article with her. Thank you for sharing such post.

  • These are something which I always choose to follow with my daughter. Thanks for sharing this post. Often we fail to acknowledge the child’s need. Beautiful write-up

  • Am I am the only one saying all the above things to my child ?:(

    Feeling really bad now. I really need to learn a lot about parenting .. thanks for sharing such an informative article on good parenting.

  • These are something which I always choose to follow with my daughter. Thanks for sharing this post. Often we fail to acknowledge the child’s need.

  • These are something which I always choose to follow with my daughter. Thanks for sharing this post. Often we fail to acknowledge the child’s need.

  • Am I the only one saying all the above things to my child ? 🙁 Thanks for sharing such an awesome article. I need to learn more and take more lessons on parenting from you 🙂 loved your article!❤

  • A helpful article sometimes we dont realise amd dont mean to say it the way it can impact a child.

  • These are really few things we make mistakes. At least I made, I will surely note these points and will not do it.

  • Ritu Kalra

    As parents, it is our responsibility to make the kid believe in himself and be proud of what he/she we need to be very careful with words and never use words which lowers down the confidence

  • Manasi

    It is extremely important to have a good communication with children. Parents should actually take note of the points you mentioned to have a happy bond. Good article.

  • True, No comparison, right talks in front of kids are so important. Their whole personality is under development and our actions and behaviours matter a lot.

  • I could agree to all the pointers you’ve said. Specially to “No”. Most of the parents say a direct NO to kids, whereas it can be fine tuned in a much softer way.

  • Unfortunately many of these above given statements are used on a daily basis by parents. I am also guilty of using one or two of these with my kids. But the good thing is I’m quite aware and try consciously not to.

  • I think as a parent I would love a balance between showing affection , praise and teaching lessons for their betterment. Love this post.

  • Akanksha

    This was such a lovely read Gunjan.. As a parent , I’m guilty of couple of points here and definitely think situations could have been handled differently. Thanks for sharing x

  • Noor Anand Chawla

    I agree with most of your points in principle, but I do feel that it’s important to not bring up a child that feels privileged or entitled. Parenting must necessarily be a delicate balance of praise and teaching life lessons.


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