Am I a SuperMom? No #MujheSabNahiPata
Motherhood signals the beginning of a unique phase in your life. You experience not just the birth of your baby, but your own rebirth, in a sense. This rebirth is your new identity – as a woman, a mother, a nurturer; and it grows quickly. Rather, society makes it grow fast, burdening you with the expectations and responsibilities of being a “Supermom”.
“A mom is like a super hero, but without a cape. And yes, like all superheroes, the super powers of a Supermom come with super responsibilities.”
A mom is ‘meant to be biologically programmed’ to connect best with her baby. But, while we indeed try and do our best for our little ones, it doesn’t mean that a mother’s love and responsibilities are straightforward or uncomplicated. Far from it. What makes it harder is that our every action and every choice – the mode of delivery we choose; whether we breastfeed our baby or not; how we deal with things like our baby’s weight, peeing and pooping frequency, crawling, walking, talking – is subjected to unwarranted scrutiny by society. We are made out to be the only ones who’re answerable and responsible for anything that goes wrong.
Is it right? Aren’t we human too?
Let’s accept it. #MujheSabNahiPata
I recently attended a discussion on the theme #MujheSabNahiPata organised by All Out. It spoke of the societal pressure and conditioning that all mothers face. (Watch this inspiring video: https://www.facebook.com/AllOutIN/videos/2140269816063785/)
It was a panel of distinguished participants – Sonali Bendre (actress and author), Dr Rupal Patel (psychologist), Mrs Ruchita Dar Shah (who leads the mommy community on Facebook) and Dr Samir Dalwai (paediatrician). The conversation also touched upon the threats to a child’s well-being and health. It pointed out that while we moms are busy battling our problems and issues, a small thing like a mosquito can wreak havoc by infecting our children with dengue.
Dr Dalwai said that people often fail to notice or identify the symptoms of dengue. He shared tips that will help safeguard against dengue; warned about the recurrence of the disease; and dispelled some widespread misnomers about platelet count, fluctuating fevers, and the activity levels of children.
Sonali Bendre shared some of her own experiences as a mom and encouraged all other moms to speak their minds and share their stories for the benefit of others. All moms present at the event tied a knot in their dupattas as a reminder to always share our #MujheSabNahiPata instances or #IDidntKnowstories, so that other mothers may learn from their experiences.
My days of learning the responsibilities of being a “Supermom”
I remember the initial days of my motherhood. Being in a nuclear family set up, I didn’t have much help except for the first few days, while I was in the hospital, and a few weeks after, when I was home. After that, we were on our own. I had had a C-section delivery, with more than 2-inch diastasis recti. All of this made it very painful to sit up and breastfeed my baby boy and add postpartum blues. Though, I tried my best, nevertheless. I was under pressure to feed him formula milk at least once a day, as he was a ‘big baby’ (full-term baby), but I wanted to breastfeed him, so I continued.
Everything seemed okay initially but, over a period of time, his weight gain wasn’t quite as it should have been. He was active but often cried while feeding. Also, he looked thin, which led me to be bombarded with gyan. As, he used to be wrapped in cloth diapers, so it took us time to realise that he was mildly dehydrated.
How would a first-time mom suppose to know it all? Let me tell you, I was a ‘Google Mom’, and I started reading about the experiences of other moms online; I consulted a paediatrician; I tried everything I could.
We tried bottle-feeding him, but he refused that completely. So, I changed my diet; I started pumping breastmilk often; I tried everything to increase my milk supply. And, soon enough, my baby boy was fine and started gained normal weight.
What I actually learnt now #MujheSabNahiPata
Being a mother is one of God’s greatest blessings. It isn’t right that we should take on guilt for not living up to the unnecessary expectations and responsibilities of being a “Supermom”. I am thankful for all that I have learned as a mother, and I wish to share all of it with other moms, in the hope that it may help them.
I have accepted the fact that #MujheSabNahiPata (I don’t know everything) and I won’t think twice if I ever need to seek expert opinion.
Remember, we are all learners until the end of our life. So, tie a knot in your attire today and share your stories in the ‘Comment’ section below – those instances when you felt #MujheSabNahiPata. You should know, and so should everyone else, that it’s okay.
© tuggunmommy
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Mothers are humans too they don’t know everything and they learn a lot during their life.
Yes being mother is difficult with these pressures
OMG you just said it. It’s so frustrating to keep answering all the questions.. we are human too. Great Initiative!!
Thank you
i agree oo, mujhe sab nai pata. Motherhood is a journey where learning and experience go hand in hand.. i am just enjoying it with happiness and lil scares sometimes
Being a mother ,i would say ,i do learn new things every single day and i think it should be in this way.
Motherhood is always about learning and it is good that we accept that we are not born superstars. This is a great initiative.
Exactly but society doesn’t believe it that way. Glad to see them concept is liked by all 🙂
Exactly!! We are all human beings! We don’t get training directly from any super power to gain knowledge about anything and everything!! Loved the write up, totally.
Agree that moms don’t know everything and neither should they strive to know everything. They are as humans as days are and liable to make mistakes. That said, I the ad all out made ultimately seems to put the onus back on the mother. The dad hardly figures in the picture. It is also made in a way that totally plays on a mother’s worst fears. While the concept is good, the ad itself is regressive.
This initiative is really nice. As mothers people tend to think we know everything but that’s not the truth. We learn slowly.
Motherhood is a constant learning proceaa by trial and error. I absolutely love this concept of accepting we may not know evetything as mums and not being guilty about it.
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Is n’t it a burden for us moms? expecting us to know every other things on parenting or household or everyrandom thing. A good initiative.
Wow the event looks so interesting. I appreciate the initiative here. always keep learning this is really important. fantastice post.
I agree with you, hume sab nahi pata hota. Whole life we learn things. Learning make us progressive and alive. Proud to say mujhe sab nahi pata
Wow this looks like an amazing event. Generally people think that moms know everything and there are too many expectations. In reality, there are lots of doubts even for moms.
It’s actually a much needed discussion because moms can’t be know-alls. It’s a learning process when you are a parent. Loved this event and the motive behind it.
Such a realistic and great concept. Yes being a mom and woman, doesn’t mean that we know everything and we can do everything.
This is very true, we as moms are pressurised to know everything but even we are learning everyday and we don’t know everything. It’s a great initiative
This is one initiative I absolutely love and I am proud that someone raised this topic! We expect moms to know everything and do everything right! No, they are human beings too! They are learning along with their kids!
That’s a lovely post. I agree just because you are mother your don’t need to know everything. We should keep learning.
A lot of us don’t realize that it’s ok to not know somethings about parenting, because that’s how we will learn to understand our kids and family on our own way. loved the the blog and I am just loving this beautiful initiative
I love the write-up. There is a strong message for all moms . Really inspiring.
#mujesabnahipata is a really great intiative. As human we have our limitations. Then how can we expect from a mother so much. Lets respect her too.
This is a wonderful post Gunjan! I sometimes feel that my 3 year old is my teacher and I am struggling to learn from him!